I’m a romance writer and I’ve had to ‘study’ the subject of love for my novels. From everything I’ve seen, heard, learned and lived, here are my top 10 things to remember when falling in love. Break them at your own peril.
1) Be your own best friend. Don’t expect him to be your ‘anything’ except your love.
2) Don’t change anything about yourself to please ‘him’. Be who you are! If he likes and accepts you that way, fine. If not, move on. He’s not the one for you.
3) Remember, you’re not just marrying him; you’re also marrying his lifestyle. If you like the opera on a Saturday night and he likes beer and pizza on the couch, it may not matter today because you can always go to the opera with your friends. But it will matter one day down the road, when you need him to come with you that one time and he won’t go. Or maybe you’re the one who likes beer and pizza…
4) Remember, you’re not just marrying him, you’re marrying his family. Take a good look at what degree of dysfunctional relationship he has with them.
5) What is his relationship with his mother? Look closely, because you’ll see clues about how he’ll treat you.
6) Remember… you can’t ‘change’ him. WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET!!!! Contrary to popular opinion, he won’t ‘change’ after you move in together/get engaged/get married.
7) You can’t ‘save’ him. He can only ‘save’ himself.
Drugs/alcohol problems/gambling/other addictions are all deal breakers because he will always love his addiction more than he loves you…. unless he gets help. And he can only do that if he WANTS to get help. He can’t do it for you… or because you want him to. He has to want to do it for himself.
9) If you catch yourself saying, “He makes me feel loved, he makes me feel strong, he makes me feel safe, etc”… STOP. No one should be ‘making you’ feel these things. You have to feel them for yourself… within yourself… first. YOU have to make yourself feel loved, strong, safe, etc.
10) If you decide to marry him, always make sure you have enough money secretly stashed away in case you need to leave him.
Author of the New, Funny Romance Novel, HER PERFECT REVENGE
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